Monday, May 9, 2011

Love: I Know it When I See It (Do You?)

My mind has been preoccupied lately with the concept of "What is true love?"

I know that love is nothing like the movies and it is not all hearts and flowers.  People are not perfect; therefore, love is not grows and evolves and can come in unexpected ways.

For me, it seems like describing "love" is a lot like how I have heard "irony" described, I know it when I see it.  There has to be respect and honestly, and the ability to put another's needs above your own...but not to wallow in martyrdom.  A couple has to support one another...but not be co-dependent.  There is a delicate balance, a gentle shift and sway.

This has led me to ponder which couples seem to have "it," that intangible thing that seems to make the relationship work.  My votes for this week are:

  1. Josh Kilmer-Purcell and Dr. Brent Ridge - Yes.  We all adore Josh and Brent (and apparently we also consider ourselves to be on a first name basis with them!).  I love their banter.  I love they way the know each other and accept one another's imperfections.  You gave me the perfect "teachable moment" to explain to my eight year old (now nine year old, Happy Birthday sweetie!) daughter about how love find us in many ways, and that more love in the world is always a good thing.  Polka Spot is just a bonus!
  2. Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer - (Yes, we also consider ourselves to be on a first name basis with Neil and Amanda, but none more than my oldest daughter, who wrote to Neil and sent him a copy of the book she wrote.  He graciously responded to her with a handwritten note!  He now has a life-long fan in all of us!)  Ahem, but I digress...  Yes, they are the perfect power couple...strong, opinionated, self-assured, and eager to promote good Art--whether made by them or other talented people.  When one of this couple is involved in something, the other proudly shares in it and bolsters the other's projects and efforts.  It is a true partnership. 
  3. Pickle and Honey Puff - Any couple who are still calling one another by their pet names after that many years deserves an honorable mention.  And, no, "dumb ass" does not count as a pet name!  You rock, Pickle!  You, too, Honey Puff! 
And, yes, I am fully aware that two of the couples on my list cannot legally get married where I live; I find this fact a sad commentary on society.

I can't define love.  I only know certain characteristics of it...but I know it when I see it, and I see it in all of the relationships I mentioned above.  How sad that so many people are so busy trying to define it, legislate it, regulate it, and restrict it that they no longer SEE it when it stares them in the face.


firespark said...

I wholeheartedly agree. Love is love, no matter what form it comes in, so long as the people involved are truly partners. Laws holding people back from marrying each other are born out of fear and have nothing to do with understanding real people and what they need. If there is a couple who is committed and happy, why hold them back? The world could do with more of that.

josh and brent said...

thank you! what a lovely post. we're honored to be included!

Sarah Franz-Wichlacz said...

of course i agree wholeheartedly! ....even though i will admit to ignorance at the identity of two out of three of those couples :/ (i admit i live under a rock, though ;) i never understood the whole "protecting the sanctity of marriage" "reasoning" for deciding who could and could not legalize their union when divorce statistics are so high.....