Thursday, July 14, 2011

Organizing Tornadoes

This week has been a bit of a surprise.  So many things I have been putting off dealing with are now actually being dealt with...or at least starting to be dealt with...or, well, something like that.  At any rate, at least I am not running wildly away in despair and frustration.  And yet, I still feel so...wary.  I guess I am waiting to see if things stay on track.

Last night, I dreamed of tornadoes.

Not just one, but a steel gray sky churning with uncountable tornadoes swirling and dropping down from the clouds.  I watched them from the 8th story window at work.  Finally, one of the attorneys said we might want to go to the basement.  (Attorneys are smart like know, all those years of college and all...)  Then, I blinked and--out of nowhere--I was outside on a hill, the wind whipping around me.  I was holding my black cat, trying to cover his head from flying debris, and trying to watch the sky while I scanned for some low place in a field to try to take cover...

...then everything shifted, and I was at a house which, apparently, was owned by an old friend from elementary school and they were getting ready to sit down for dinner, and I was wondering what I would eat, since I was allergic to everything...  Finally, I left her house and walked a familiar sidewalk which led back to my childhood home.  Everything was disjointed and stressful and...exhausting.

I have not dreamed about tornadoes in quite some time.  They tend to be my nocturnal indicator that I feel like my life is out of control.  As a result, I feel a need to get my metaphorical house in order.  I think that I am feeling so out of control with so much in my life right now, and that I just really want to get SOMETHING organized, and I want SOMETHING to make sense.

And  maybe, just maybe, things are starting to make sense again.   (Knock wood.)


firespark said...

That's quite an image, you standing outside, holding your black cat, with tornadoes swirling nearby.

I think you are on the eve of something and control is just on the other side. Keep climbing (I know it's uphill right now), slow and steady. You'll be there soon.

<3 <3 <3

GingerGirl said...

Oh, I so hope you are right! What would I do without the support and encouragement that I find in family and friends, and the wonderful, generous "names without a face" that reach out through the distance to help prop me up. You can never know how much it helps.

firespark said...

(((HUGS))) I know just what you mean. :)

GingerGirl said...

Great...I just got the Billy Idol song "Eyes Without a Face" in my head... *sigh*